I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but currently I am working as part of an ICMR (Indian Council of Medical Research) Project on Thalassemia. I’ve been a part of this project for nearly 2 years. And now that the project will be ending on January 13, 2013 I’m looking forward to that day with both excitement and apprehension.
While I’m excited to be entering a new phase with new opportunities to make new decisions, I find that I’m more confused and unsure about the future than I’ve ever been so far. After having worked in a hospital for nearly 2 years, I feel sure that I cannot bear to work in a hospital setting any longer. But what else can I do? I like business and everyone I meet tells me that I’ve got a very enterprising mind. But how do I start? I like writing. But what do I write about? Should I simply continue studying? If life came with a rewind button I’d rewind to a time when decision making was much simpler.
This poem by D.H. Lawrence captured my heart with its beautiful imagery. It’s also special because it gently stirs up feelings that the person in the poem is feeling as well – nostalgia.
Softly, in the dusk, a woman is singing to me;
Taking me back down the vista of years, till I see
A child sitting under the piano,in the boom of the tingling strings
And pressing the small, poised feet of a mother who smiles as she sings.
In spite of myself, the insidious mastery of song
Betrays me back, till the heart of me weeps to belong
To the old Sunday evenings at home, with winter outside
And hymns in the cosy parlour, the tinkling piano our guide.
So now it is vain for the singer to burst into clamour
With the great black piano apassionato. The glamour
Of childish days is upon me, my manhood is cast
Down in the flood of remembrance, I weep like a child for the past.
– D.H. Lawrence, 1918